if only life wasn't this complicated...


too much running through my mind.
i don't even feel like sharing to anyone.
sometimes, i can't highly depend on people or someone due to their ignorance responses.
i can't run away from problems.
because they will always come running to me.
i like playing Pretends.
this is a game not only kids can play, but teens like us too.

tried to stay happy and cheerful like i always do rather than showing that angry, monotonous look i had on Monday.
i became a horrible person last monday.
i scolded people. like literally.
i turn to someone who can make people hate u at that moment O_O
i don't know why i was straight forward.
perhaps, its Monday Blues....

I feel left out sometimes when i go into the clubroom.
Mostly year 2's.
Even though i rarely hangout or mixed around and not asking people what's happening because i want to mind my own business, you don't have to whisper and keep secrets and showing it in front of me. Its damn annoying lah can. No wonder i was pissed off that day. -_-

Luckily, bby make me smile the whole day long. I keep smiling happily to myself till my classmates think im crazy. Haha. sorry.

How sweet can you be bby♥??
Awwww... :')

a nice original cheesy line.
iloveyoubby ♥


Now lets see that blogshop that Joanne sent to me and play Bejewelzed at the same time. HAHA!
& chatting with bby.
Multi-tasker freak.
NOT.

HAHAHA!

12.50pm.

I've never been in a long relationship with someone for a quite some time.
My longest was back in sec 2.
But that was back then.
& this is now.
Im slowly learning and trying to stablelize a long term relationship.
Im trying my best.
& I will give it all and stay committed to it.

We are humans and we make mistakes.
& this all leads to one question.
What is love to you?

Some people may forgive & forget.
Some people may forgive but never forget.
Some people may never forgive but forget.
& little percentage people who so uptight about themselves that they never forgive and forget.
If Prophet Muhammad can forgive and forget, why can't we humans do?
Cause i've always believe in 2nd chances.

Im a late bloomer.
Cause i was born late.
& therefore, my mindset is still growing into a mature adult.
Im still learning. Im learning from experiences.
& now, i grow a great fear of losing you.
i don't claim myself as perfect.
But im trying my best to do whatever i can.
Sacrifices is made.
I have put myself into your shoes.
& it hurts.
Due to jealousy and some safety reasons, i claim my self as a foolish girl.

& you said i was no different than the others.
what did "the others" do?
we humans are so typical cause we always see the bad side of the person and not the good side.
sigh...
let me tell you the reason why i went to gym.

Because i have big thigh.
I am lazy and need to tone up those flabby muscles.
I can't fit into my jeans.
I planned to have a secret training and MIA myself so that i can surprise everyone that i have slim down.
But seems like the plan doesn't work.

& now, being sick and under this situation, i have no appetite to eat any more.
I lost my sense of smell & taste.
I had slight gastrik in the morning.
Perhaps thats why i woke up early.
I don't care about my body anymore.
I don't care if i end up in hospital or whatever shit.
I have tried my best but it doesn't matter to you cause you are still pissed off with me.

I'm just waiting for you to calm down and ready to talk to me.
to forgive and forget about everything that had happen this week.
No guys would want me. So don't worry.
I'm just faithful to you all this while.
See how far we have been through.
I never been this close to my boyfriend's family before.
You're the first to be close to my family and go out & eat together.

& whatever happens in this relationship, we just have to settle it and work things out.
you know i have always love you. ♥
there's always ups and downs in a relationship.
i promise you that this kind of little stuff won't happen again.

if you're reading this, im glad you did.
i'll just be waiting for you text.
take care and have a safe journey to & fro dear.

goodbye.